


Change in future

by bbg17on



Category: El Cor de la Ciutat
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-01-15 19:03:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21258134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbg17on/pseuds/bbg17on
Summary: It was never over, far from it.





	Change in future

I had not been looking forward to coming home. There had been nothing I could do the last time I was here. Clara was in a jail cell, I had been doing everything I could to get her out and nothing was working. She wasn't willing to corporate, she wanted to serve her time. I had been using it as an excuse, not to deal with what had happened to me. Being kidnapped. Come to find out having 2 road blocks in front to me made it impossible for me to move forward.

I had to leave, it's leaving something behind, someone. I loved him but it wasn't enough. I was dealing with too much and I couldn't drag him down in order to deal with it and I would have. He deserved better. It's what I told myself when I was leaving. I had made the promise not to interfere in his life. He had moved on, waiting for me proved to be too much. Not that I blame him. He had his work, Beni who has been like a father, friends. Once in a while emails can make a person wait forever or not be enough for them to hold on to. I didn't know a lot about Gonzalo, he's a cook and seemed to make Iago happy. In the end it's all I wanted for him. 

I thought I had gone too far, the kiss at the fruit stand. It was never supposed to got that far, I had gone there to apologize, it was never supposed to be more. What I thought I had left behind, putting his interests above my own. I would go back to Mozambique. I would support him while he appealed, help him fight even as I was over there. We had it all planned out. To hear the news and see the look of devastation on his face. 3 years? How was he supposed to do that? How was I miles away from home, from him? 

I thought I had known what love was. To lay in bed with someone, be with them and know what they were thinking, how it felt. One kiss changed all of that. To feel desired by the person I had despised most. What was worse, I couldn't get it out of my head. The person everyone saw as a criminal I wanted to feel his hand on me again. Despite being miles away I could still feel him. No matter how many times I tried to block it out with work. A kiss, a touch, a dinner we had would come to the front of my mind. If I could still feel him, then he could still feel me. 

The look on his face is what changed my mind. I had seen a fraction of it on a visit in a jail cell. Wanting to do what was best for me. Not wanting me to wait for him while he served his time. It didn't compare to what was in front of me at the court house. The look on his face, in the short time I had been home I had fallen harder for him, I didn't need words from him to know he feels the same way. I'm going to stay. It was going to kill me to stay home, in a place that had nothing but bad memories for me. Leaving now would have been so much worse. Leaving would have killed me.

Making plans for visits in prison, going to visit him, once a week, once a day, was not settling well. Giving him anxiety that's indescribable. Painful. Being separated is the worst idea for him and trying to persuade him otherwise. He had been trying to survive without me for the last year. Trying? He was barely getting along. I was going minute by minute, day by day. Putting everything into my work. He had given Gonzalo what was left of himself. He had given his heart to me, I had left mine here. 

"I don't want to go to prison, Max. Max I want to be with you." He had been the brave one to make the first move, show me he was interested. He's being brave again. His words surprising me. The words sounding desperate from a man in love. His lips on mine. The plans we had been making are gone, they don't matter. I was just a kid when I had made plans to run away with him. Being separated this time is not an option. What he lost when I left and what he won't survive if he goes to jail this time. He won't survive and neither will I. He almost lost who he was, he couldn't do that again. Losing myself in this kiss, unlike any other we've had. Desperate urgency, love between two people that had not been there before. Urgency to be together because of one not baring to lose the other, lose himself.


End file.
